A Eulogy for The Lost Old Man

After sleeping some more this afternoon, trying to process everything and the details following it, here I am in the toilet writing a eulogy for the death of a man who once brought me to life.

Hearing the news in the morning just after I woke up thinking I would make my house the day before, I struck in my bed, forced to be put back 19 years ago all over again. Everyone has been asking me to forgive you ignoring the fact that no single apology was thrown by you in the first place. You may have no idea how unforgiving I am, but I actually am. I'm even grossed by the idea of having the initiative to forgive you though I've put some efforts to, and please know that's not the least I can do.

But since you're literally not around anymore, I'd slowly loose all my expectation that you'll finally come, say you're sorry, and tell me that I've done a great job surviving without you, but that's fine.

The least that I can do now is praying you'll have a rough journey down to your afterlife. However, that would make me not being any better than you which I know I am. Know that in spite of your absence, you've taught me valuable lessons about responsibility, honesty, and simply not being a total jerk to people. 

Now it's your turn to seek your apology to whom you are responsible to. So, suck it, asshole.

And see you.